Moonlight and Ashes Read online

  The excited chatter died on the twins’ lips when they entered the room some time later to see their baby sister lying limply across the settee. They saw at a glance that their mother had been crying and looked from her to Mrs Massey in dismay. As usual in times of uncertainty, Lizzie shrank into Danny’s side, her eyes huge in her small face.

  ‘What’s up wi’ our Lucy then?’ Danny tried to control the tremor in his voice as best he could.

  ‘She’s poorly, love, but don’t worry. Mrs Massey is tryin’ to bring her temperature down and we’ve sent for the doctor. He should be here in a minute. Now come to the table and have some of this stew I have ready for you, then I want you to both go upstairs till the doctor’s been.’

  ‘But Mam, it’s cold up . . .’ The words died on Danny’s lips as he saw the stark terror in his mother’s eyes, and in that moment he knew that Lucy must be very poorly indeed.

  ‘Come on, Lizzie.’ Suddenly the little man of the house, he began to peel his sister’s coat from her thin arms and usher her towards the table. ‘Let’s get us tea an’ then we’ll have a go at that jigsaw we had for Christmas, eh?’

  Maggie’s heart swelled with love as she looked at him, and once more the striking difference in the twins’ nature was brought home to her. Danny was like a little rock, whilst Lizzie was timid and shy. Nevertheless she loved them both equally, and as for Lucy . . . As she stared down into the flushed little face a cold hand closed around her heart. How would she cope if anything happened to her? If anything happened to any of them, if it came to that? But Lucy was special. Had always been special, from the moment she had first held her in her arms. Once again, the urge to break down and cry was on her, and Maggie wished with all her heart that she could run away and hide from the mess that her life had become.

  What seemed like a lifetime ago now, she had thought that her future would be with David. They had been courting, but then they had gone to a party at his mother’s house one night and Maggie had got tiddly, which hadn’t taken a lot, for she had never been much of a drinker. Sam, who had never made a secret of the fact that he fancied her too, had also been at the party, and as the night wore on he had plied her with drink. She had danced with both David and Sam, and as her mind grew more and more befuddled it had got harder and harder to tell them apart. One thing had led to another until eventually she had followed who she thought was David upstairs.

  The next morning, she had been appalled when she woke up lying next to Sam, and even more appalled weeks later to discover that she was pregnant. Sam had almost broken his neck to tell David what had occurred and for a time, Maggie had felt as if she would die of shame. Especially when she found out that whilst she had been lying in bed with Sam, David had been out all night, scouring the streets for her. He and her parents had been frantic with worry. Her initial reaction was to have nothing more to do with Sam after the way he had tricked her, especially when David offered to marry her anyway. But then she had looked at Sam, and decided that he had a right to bring up his own child. It wasn’t as if she and David had been engaged or anything, after all. And so they had married and all had been well - until she gave birth to the twins. It was after that that Sam had begun to change, for he couldn’t cope with the fact that Maggie and David remained friends. His jealousy reared its head once more, and Maggie came to realise then that, although the two men were like a matching pair from the outside, they were totally different in nature. However, as her mother was soon to point out, she had made her bed and now she must lie on it. And lie on it she had done ever since, though not a day passed when she didn’t regret her choice. Still, she told herself now as she looked down on her little daughter’s flushed face, it was no good crying over spilled milk. What was done was done and the time for regrets was long past.

  Lucy’s fever finally broke during the night. By the following morning, although still deathly pale, she was more herself and Maggie offered up a silent prayer of thanks. As long as her children were well and all together she knew that she could cope with anything that life cared to throw at her.

  Chapter Five

  ‘Thought any more about getting the little ’uns away yet, have yer?’ Ellen asked.

  Maggie’s face became as black as the thunderclouds that were crashing overhead. ‘You know I won’t do that, Mam. There’s no point. Mrs Massey hasn’t long since brought Carol and Tony back home, as you well know. We haven’t been bombed an’ I have no intention of sendin’ my children away just for the sake of it.’

  ‘All right, all right, keep yer hair on. I was only askin’,’ her mother retorted.

  Hearing the tension between the two women, the twins glanced at each other nervously. Seemed like everyone was in a bad mood nowadays, though for some reason their mam and dad didn’t seem to be arguing so much lately, so that was a good thing at least. Not that their dad was there for much of the time. Most nights he would come in from work and after tea he would get ready and clear off to the Three Shuttles in Howard Street. And they did still have their Saturday matinées at the Palladium to look forward to, though even that was tinged with wartime stories on the newsreels now.

  Raising their eyes, they shrugged before bending their heads across the homework that their teacher had set them to do. Grown-ups were very hard to understand at times.

  At last the weather began to improve as winter gave way to spring, and the people of Coventry felt their spirits begin to lift. Rationing was still a problem, but up to now the city had not been bombed and they were beginning to feel more optimistic.

  ‘I heard on the wireless that Vivien Leigh has won an Academy Award for her role as Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind,’ Mrs Massey informed Maggie as they pegged the wet clothes to the washing line they shared in the back yard.

  Spitting a wooden clothes peg from her mouth, Maggie grinned. ‘I can’t say as I’ve ever been a big theatre-goer but I shall definitely be goin’ to see that when it comes to the Rex in June.’

  ‘Well, I’m pleased to hear it. They reckon that new cinema is the bees-knees. You don’t go out enough fer a young woman, if yer was to ask me. An’ yer know you only have to ask an’ I’d babysit fer yer at the drop of a hat.’

  Mrs Massey couldn’t have said a better thing and Maggie beamed at her kindly neighbour. Lately she was feeling a little happier, and it showed. There was something else making her smile too, though she hadn’t broached what was on her mind to Sam yet. She had noticed that more and more women were going back to work, most of them in munitions factories. The government had decided to give women equal pay to the men for the duration of the war, and Maggie was toying with the idea of applying for a job herself. That is, if she could find someone to care for Lucy and the twins when they got in from school. Now here was Mrs Massey offering to babysit any time. And of course, her mother would help out too, she was sure of it. The money she earned would make all the difference to the way they lived.

  Both Danny and Lizzie were desperate for new shoes. Lizzie’s school skirts were well above her knees and Danny’s school trousers had been patched so many times that she was ashamed to put them on him now. But if she went back to work, that wouldn’t be a problem any more. She was tempted to tell her idea to Mrs Massey there and then but decided against it until she had spoken to Sam. Unfortunately, Sam was old-fashioned and believed that a woman’s place was at the kitchen sink. Well, fine, let him think that. This time she was determined to get her way for once - and damn what Sam said.

  Hands on hips, she watched the wet sheets flapping in the breeze with a broad smile on her face. It was so nice to be able to dry the washing outside again, after all the months of having it hanging around from ceiling lines and over the clotheshorse in the kitchen.

  ‘Penny fer yer thoughts, gel?’

  Maggie jumped then giggled as she snatched up the large wicker washing-basket. ‘I was just thinking what a lovely day it is,’ she replied, then swinging about, she went merrily back into the kitchen leaving Mrs Mass
ey to scratch her head in bewilderment.

  That night, as Sam sat at the side of the empty fireplace reading his newspaper, Maggie plucked up her courage and asked, ‘How would you feel about me going back out to work?’

  Had she smacked him in the mouth he couldn’t have looked more shocked as he stared at her, his mouth hanging slackly open.

  ‘You . . . go back to work?’

  Although Maggie’s heart was fluttering like a caged canary she stood tall as she stared back at him. ‘Yes, me go back to work. What’s so strange about that? Dozens of women from hereabouts have already done it. They’re crying out for women workers at most of the factories at present.’

  ‘An’ what were yer thinkin’ o’ doin’ wi’ the kids?’ he sneered.

  ‘I’ve already thought of that,’ she retorted, her head held high. ‘Me mam an’ Mrs Massey will have them between them. I’ll slip them both a bit out of me wages each week an’ then they’ll feel the benefit of me workin’ an’ all.’

  ‘Forget it,’ he snapped, as his eyes drifted back to the newspaper. It was obvious that he thought the conversation was over, but Maggie had other ideas.

  ‘No, Sam, I won’t forget it - not this time. This is something I really want to do. I read the newspapers too and it seems that things could get a lot worse before they start to get better. I want to do me bit just like dozens of other married women are doing.’

  For the first time in their married life Sam was speechless as he gazed back at her. Not once had Maggie ever defied him in anything, but on this point she seemed determined.

  ‘Carry on then if yer so set on it,’ he mumbled. ‘But you’ll soon see which side yer bread is buttered on, you just mark me words. I’ll give yer a week in a factory an’ you’ll be only too pleased to come back to bein’ a full-time wife an’ mother.’

  Maggie struggled to hide a smirk of satisfaction as a wave of excitement snaked through her. She had no doubt at all that she would earn every penny she made, but on a brighter note she would also have a measure of freedom for the first time in years. Grinning from ear to ear, she slipped out into the lane of back-to-back terraced houses and hurried over to her mother’s to tell her the good news before Sam had the chance to change his mind.

  The very next day, once Maggie had got the twins off to school and settled Lucy with her grandma, she set off through Swanshill and headed towards the city in her search for a job. It was a bright morning in late March and the sky was blue with fluffy white clouds. It had been a while since she’d ventured far from home, and Maggie was shocked to see the shelters that had sprung up everywhere. On the old bowling green in Bird Street a trench shelter that could house up to 642 people had appeared. Another trench shelter that would hold a further 306 people had taken the place of the tennis courts in Swanswell Park. She had heard about them from various friends and neighbours, but somehow actually seeing them brought the war ever closer.

  The sight made Maggie’s blood run cold, and some of the pleasure was suddenly gone from the day as she headed towards the city centre.

  On 9 April, word swept through the Courtaulds factory where Maggie was now working that Hitler had invaded Denmark and Norway. The women gazed fearfully at each other before bending their heads to their work. Maggie fleetingly wondered where David might be but then pushed him firmly from her mind. From now on, Sam and the children were the only ones that she would allow herself to worry about.

  When she arrived home that evening she found the twins playing in the Anderson shelter with Carol and Tony from next door. They whooped with delight when the gate swung open and they saw her before flinging themselves into her arms.

  ‘Grandma made us some faggots an’ chips fer us tea, Mam,’ Danny informed her as he rubbed his stomach. ‘Cor, they weren’t half nice, an’ she’s got some ready fer you an’ Dad an’ all. She’s in the kitchen with our Lucy.’

  ‘Well, I’d better go an’ join her then so as she can get back across the road to Grandad Bill eh?’ She stroked their hair affectionately before trudging towards the back door after casting a regretful glance at the shelter. This time last year, the little garden where it now stood had been full of daffodils in tight buds about to burst into glorious life. Primroses had peeped from beneath the hedges that separated the pocket-handkerchief gardens, but now the only colour was the dark brown earth that the men had shovelled across the shiny corrugated metal roof. Still, at least it had made a good playhouse for the children, she thought, and prayed that was all it would ever be.

  Ellen looked up from the sink as she entered and flashed her a smile. ‘So how’s it gone today then, love?’

  Gratefully kicking her shoes off, Maggie sank onto the chair at the side of the table. ‘Fine, but me feet feel like they’re gonna drop off. I’m not used to standing on a production line all day long yet.’ As she spoke she unhooked the suspenders on her stockings and rolled them down her legs then wriggled her toes and sighed with relief. ‘Ah, that’s better.’

  ‘I dare say yer wouldn’t say no to a cup o’ tea then?’

  Maggie laughed. ‘Mam, at this moment in time, I reckon I could drain the pot.’

  Her mother began to strain the tea into a cup and as she took it from her, Maggie asked, ‘How’s Her Ladyship been today?’

  Following Maggie’s eyes to Lucy, who was curled up in a ball on the settee fast asleep, she smiled. ‘Good as gold, though I’d be a liar to say she didn’t miss you. When you first leave is the worst time. She screams fit to waken the dead for a solid half an’ hour. But then she settles down, an’ by the time the twins get home from school she’s as right as rain.’

  Maggie chewed on her lip as she stared at the child over the rim of her cup. There were certain things about being a working woman again that she thoroughly enjoyed. For a start off, Lizzie and Danny were now sporting a brand new pair of shoes each, not to mention new skirts and trousers. Working also meant that she didn’t have to go cap in hand to Sam for every single penny, and for the first time since she’d been married she had made a friend. Eileen was the young woman who stood next to her at the conveyor belt at work. At twenty-six, with curly dark hair and eyes that were full of fun, Eileen was only two years younger than herself, yet seemed much younger in spirits. Probably because as yet she and her husband hadn’t been blessed with children, though from what Maggie could make of it, it wasn’t for the lack of trying. Sadly, Eileen’s husband had now been called up, and every day at work started with excerpts from the last letter he had written to her, which Eileen carried around in the breast-pocket of her overall.

  Yes, to all intents and purposes, going back to work had been a good thing - and yet . . . As Maggie stared at her tiny daughter she felt a pang of resentment. Sam had been surprisingly accepting of the situation once it came about. Probably because her working had barely affected his routine at all. Each night he came home to his meal on the table just as he always had. Added to that, he now had a little more money in his pocket for trips to the local pub. It was Maggie who stayed up every night when the children were tucked up in bed catching up with the washing and ironing and housework. Only last week Sam had returned from one of his jaunts to find her polishing the front doorstep with red polish in the dark.

  ‘You must be mad, woman,’ he had muttered before lurching off unsteadily down the entry. Maggie narrowed her eyes and sent evil thoughts boring into his back but he just carried on his way. Sam’s indifference and the long work hours she could cope with. It was having to leave the children that troubled her, particularly Lucy, who was becoming somewhat of a grandma’s girl.

  Still, at the end of the day there was a war on and everyone was making sacrifices one way or another so she supposed she shouldn’t complain. And it was nice not to have to be totally reliant on Sam. A little smile played around her lips at the thought. Never in all her married life had she ever stood up to him before and it felt good, almost as if she was taking control of her own life again.

  Chapter
Six

  ‘“Oranges an’ lemons, say the bells of Saint Clements!”’

  The happy chant floated around Maggie as she stepped past the children who were playing in the late-afternoon sunshine in Howard Street. Some of them had chalked on the pavements and were so engrossed in their game of hopscotch that they barely noticed her passing.

  Up ahead, Maggie noticed a young woman who had recently started at the factory and she quickened her footsteps to catch up with her.

  ‘Nice to be out in the fresh air again, isn’t it?’ she chirped conversationally when she came abreast.

  The young woman glared at her. Ignoring her sullen expression, Maggie tried again. ‘Live round here, do you?’

  ‘What’s it gorrer do wi’ you?’

  Taken aback, Maggie frowned. ‘Sorry I’m sure. I was only tryin’ to be friendly.’

  ‘When I want a friend, I’ll ask. Till then, mind yer own bloody business.’ So saying, the young woman gripped her handbag and hurried away, leaving Maggie open-mouthed to stare after her. ‘Well, really,’ she muttered indignantly. Only that day during their afternoon break, Eileen had commented on the girl sitting all alone in the corner of the canteen and Maggie had assumed that she was shy. Now she was inclined to think that she was just downright ignorant, and yet . . . There was something about the stoop of the girl’s shoulders that told a different story. She couldn’t be more than twenty at most, and yet she looked as if she had the worries of the world on her shoulders. Deciding that it was none of her business, Maggie shrugged and moved on.

  The following day, as she was fitting a hairnet over her blond hair before starting work, she told Eileen what had happened the previous evening.